T.F.R.
THERE IS NO FUCKING REPAIR!!!!!
The problem will never be fixed. It will only be pushed into being dealt with later. Or masked better. I am tired of fighting it. Fighting the future, and fighting the inevitable.
The only way the rape,abuse, and pain will go away it by death. The death of myself. OR the death of the one who cause me pain.
My family.
isn't that crazy? The one who I am told will always be there, has caused me the most pain.
My mother is abusive verbally and physically.
My brothers have raped or sexually assualted me.
Yes, that's right. BOTH of my brothers have sexually assualted me. I am afraid one of them is on the out break of attacking other innocent women . I am tired of all of this.
It has been happening since i was 7. TEN YEARS! It will never go away, when I think it is done...I am proven wrong.
My dad has never hurt me, that is why i believe I hav e not given up on all men. Because he has always been there.
Until tonight.
Now, although I have friends, I feel alone.
MY family, the one who is suppose to never leave, is no longer on my side.
Well, they are. . . THey always have my back when others are involved but they are the ones who have caused me the most pain.
I protected them, and now I regret it.
I'm tired of it all.
Can I just go away?
No.
Because ONE girl needs me. my ONE friend can't see me go. I know there are plenty of people who care . . . But this ONE girl couldn't go on. I couldn't hurt her like that. I wish she wasn't my friend. . . I'd end all this misery right now. . .
Hell, I still might.
Fuck all this shit.
Find out next time id I'm still alive & alone. . or just alone.
if you want to help or leave some feed back PLEASE do. But no suicidal, or abuse hotline. PLEASE. I'm tired of being nice and then walked on, Fuck off if you just want to give me a line of shit. Give me the truth. AND LIKE I SAID NO GOD DAMN HOTLINES!
2 comments:
Go to a priest, rabbi, or whatever. It does not matter what your religion is, any of them will help you.
Go to the police. You are a victim, you can be protected.
These seem to me to be common sense but I am older, wiser, and have not been through what you have. So I can toss these out there easily. But I can tell you that problems do go away and you should be instrumental in making them go away by acting in your own best interests. Believe me, I have been where you say you are in terms of ending it. You can turn it around.
You say you want the truth and not some line of hope and shallow inspiration, but you don’t. No one does. The truth is bad things happen to good people, you deserve what you put up with, and you teach other people how to treat you. How these things affect you is for you to decide.
I do know, from personal experience, that sometimes a person goes from being a victim to helping the hand that holds them down. Oprah was raped by her uncle as a child. Anyone can rise above their past. I truly believe that; I have to.
Post a Comment